What About Words?

I am the mom of 3 "special needs" adopted daughters, so I have spent much of life learning a different language. The words:tone, Rocker bottom foot, short term auditory memory delay, mentally challenged, fetal alcohol syndrome, autism and, the list goes on and on. As I joined or formed support groups or became a part of councils and boards, I learned other different words: SMA, cystic fibrosis, feeding tube, nebulizer, oxygen, rhizotomy, It is like we, special need parents used a different language. You know what though, we also have the same language: happy, laugh, love, pride, and cry, tears, sadness, it is all there. I think that we should not focus so much on what makes our kids different because, we lose what is the same; what conforms us to every other parent and family in the world instead of what separates us and excludes our kids.

We say that our kids are not included, yet sometimes, we keep them excluded by the differences we seem to stress. Recently, I saw one of the kids I have come to know on Facebook at a birthday party. Yes, she was different yet, she was also very much the same. Instead of stressing her differences, she was just being a little girl, playing Barbies the best way she could, helping the birthday girl open up presents...okay, I know, there are many of our kids who can't even do that but, just their mere presence adds meaning to those who's lives they touch.

The reason for this post is pretty simple, my girls were 8, 2 and 8 months when they came into our lives, they are now 34, 29 and 26 so I have had many years to see that they excel (as do the people around them) in an environment where those words that stress the differences are kept at a minimum. In this instance, the more they are different the less they are the same. My hope is that all of our kids grow up to be unique and that their communities accept them much in the same way as they would the tall, short, redhead, blonde, etc. and we are able to join together to help each other be all that we can be! Wishing you all an awesome year ahead!!

[caption id="attachment_7123" align="aligncenter" width="350"]My Daughters, Laura-Lee in White Dress and Nikki in Black. ~2004[/caption]

All About Our Trick-or-Treat Program

As a mother of a child with complex medical needs I hear the same question ALL the time “Is there anything I can do to help?” or some variation of that question. Early on I would just say no, but thank you for asking. Over the years I have learned that most people that asks really do care and want to help. When there is something they CAN do, it not only helps me, but it typically makes them feel pretty good as well.

While my daughter has a lot of medical issues, she is still just a kid and loves to do many of the same things other girls her age do. This includes dressing up and holiday traditions. Halloween is a family favorite at our house. Since my daughter is fed through a feeding tube and is not able to eat by mouth at all, trick-or-treating just seemed mean. I felt like it would be almost cruel to drag her house to house to then take all of her treasures away at the end of the night. Not to mention, then my husband and I are left with more candy that we end up eating.

One year we took some stickers and little Halloween themed toys to a few neighbors' homes and asked them if they would mind keeping those aside so that our daughter could trick-or-treat at their houses. Our neighbors were so excited and loved being able to help us bring Halloween to our daughter. When we took her to these houses not only did they have the little treats we brought over, but they went out and got other stuff to add to her goodies as well. Everyone won that night- especially our daughter.

That Halloween got me thinking. My daughter is one of thousands, or tens of thousands, that can not eat Halloween candy. My neighbors were thrilled to be able to contribute to Halloween fun for our daughter. I figured there has to be more people out there that want to do the same. Many people already do, and had no idea that by handing out stickers, pencils, spider rings, etc in addition to or in place of candy that they have made their Halloween goodies inclusive. It really is that easy.

MOST people want to help. When people hear our daughter’s story they always tell me about how their cousin, best friend, little sister, etc has a child with special needs. All of us have special kids in our lives that we love and want to help bring them joy. This concept lead to us creating the Trick-or-Treat Program. This program gives EVERYONE a chance to make a difference.

We have developed a few tools to help make this program a success.

It's as easy as 1-2-3

	1- Add some non-food treats
	2- Print out a decal
	3- Share Halloween fun with ALL kids

We have an online registration system as well. You can register your address (we don’t ask for any personal information- not even your name) to let kids in your area know that non-food treats are available at your home. There is a simple map that will help individuals plan out their trick-or-treating routes.

This program is so simple, and impacts so many. EVERYONE can participate. You do not need to have a child with special needs, you do not need to have a child at all. If you plan to be home on Halloween and hand out treats, just add some non-food options. This is NOT and anti-candy campaign! I LOVE candy and for many kids its still a great option. I must tell you though, the past few years I have offered both. When kids knock on the door I let them chose. The non-food treats go much quicker than the candy. The older kids want the candy, but the younger kids love the non-food options.

Please help us make this program a success. The more people that know about it, the more people that will participate. We are just stay at homes and rely on word of mouth to help us deliver these details. We need YOUR help! Tell your friends, tell you family, co-workers, neighbors, tell everyone! You can post a link to our page, tweet it, pin it, instagram it, or any of the other cool things kids are doing today.