Mother's Day Connection

[caption id="attachment_7270" align="alignright" width="300"] My first Mother's Day- 2006[/caption]This past weekend I celebrated my 9th Mother's Day. There is nothing I wanted more in this world than to be a mother and there is nothing I cherish more than my daughter, but Mother's Day can be a tad bitter sweet.

I have learned how to process all of my feelings like jealousy, anger and sadness when it comes to the life I expected. It took many years, but with lots of help and support I was able to come to peace with my "new normal". I still think about the things my family can't do, the things we miss out on, especially the things my daughter will never get to experience. I have learned to be happy for my friends and family that are living the lives I planned. I have learned to focus on what we DO have and what we CAN do and to celebrate EVERYTHING!

Holidays are still tough, and I think they always will be. The traditions, the pageantry, all of it is just another reminder that I'm not like my friends and family, at least not the ones I have known all my life. I am however, just like my new(ish) friends and family. I share a bond with my new community that makes us feel like we are family- sisters by circumstance.

[caption id="attachment_7279" align="alignleft" width="250"] "Snuggle Cam" Mother's Day 2015[/caption]This community, my new family, it's you- all of you! I logged on to facebook on Sunday, as I do everyday, and I started to feel a little sad as I scrolled through my newsfeed. I saw so many post of my friends with their kids out doing special things for Mother's Day. I read each post and felt happy that they were having special days, but also a little sad. However, as I continued to scroll through my feed I saw other posts that made me feel connected to the rest of the world. A connection we all long for- a way to feel like we ARE normal. Some of you, my MOM friends, were posting pics of your miracles snuggled up on your laps, tubes connected, sitting in awkward positions in order to support their needs and your faces filled with so much love. You all were doing exactly what I was doing. Snuggles with my daughter are my favorite part of the day. On some days we snuggle almost the entire time. For Mother's Day she was in a good mood and we snuggled on the couch watching chick flix and having our girl talk (she is non-verbal, but we still have our chats). It was a great day, I too was filled with so much love and I was happy. I don't know why I let the pictures of moms playing in the park with their kids make me feel like my Mother's Day was any less special. Truth be told, I think mine was MORE special. I thank all of you for reminding me of that.

I hope that all of you had a wonderful Mother's Day, and that you all got some snuggle time with your miracles.

Here's to all the MOMs....

The New Year has arrived and we are well into our way of finding out how our 2015 year will be.  At the end of every year I always look back and think what it consisted of....how many doctor appointments, therapies, hospital stays, surgeries, etc.  I am sometimes saddened that my child had a rough one, but then I smile because we made it another year.  I see all my other Facebook MOM (mommies of miracles) friends and think about how their year was and how they made it out....

These MOMs aren't like my typical Facebook friends.  These ladies have become a part of my family, albeit 95% of them I've never met in person.  Our children brought us together.  Our bond is strong because we live a life that no one else can possibly understand.  We fondly look at each other's pictures or statuses and give an encouraging word, praise their children's hard earned milestones, tell our experiences, or cry with them over some of the hardships of our children's lives.  This aspect of our lives is why Facebook has become so important, it is where our best friends are that we can't see in person.  Some MOMs have just been inducted into the club with their newly diagnosed child while others have been a MOM for many years....each MOM comes with her own experience and knowledge.  Knowing I have these women in my life, through the screen, helps me put one foot in front of the other to care for my miracle child the absolute best way I can.  So here's to you, my amazing mommy of miracle friends...

Here's to the MOM...who was just told that her sweet child has a rare disorder and will need constant care.  Her life is forever changed and she is needing support.

Here's to the MOM....who has a toddler who is developmentally delayed and hasn't reached milestones that most toddlers have.  Her hopes and dreams for her child remain in tact as she brings her child to therapies and is tirelessly working with him.

Here's to the MOM....who pushes that beautiful child in the bright blue wheelchair in and out of stores, hospitals, doctor offices, schools, parks, birthday parties, theaters.  She proudly shows her child the world and more importantly shows the world her child.

Here's to the MOM....who has a child with an invisible disorder and gets stares from strangers that judge her parenting skills.  She knows her child like the back of her hand and hopes that with enough exposure and compassion the public can see her child for the way he or she is.

Here's to the MOM....who was told that their child was born blind and would never see.  She never gives up hope that possibly the doctors were wrong.  Her life is a journey of glasses, canes, Braille, sensory integration, and overcoming stigmas.

Here's to the MOM....whose beautiful child has a disorder that will take their life.  The thought of losing her child is never far from her mind, yet she holds onto hope.  Her life is a constant state of when and holding onto her miracle for as long as she can.

Here's to the MOM....who is seen arguing with her miracle child's doctor about what her child needs.  She isn't afraid of a degree in medicine.  She only has one purpose in this life and that is getting her child the best medical care possible.

Here's to the MOM....who is learning to live this lifestyle after her healthy child was in an accident that has changed them forever.  Her heart breaks into a million pieces, but remains strong for her child.

Here's to the MOM....whose child has grown into an adult.  She knows all the ins and outs of this life dealing with special needs.  She is an valuable part of our community of MOMs and is so respected and looked up to.

Here's to the MOM....who lives in the hospital more than they do at home.  She has become great friends with the nurses, therapists, residents, custodians that work at the hospital.  She is an expert of hospital life and can pack a go back in 30 seconds flat.

Here's to the MOM....whose child with special needs has left this Earth and is now an angel.  Her arms physically ache to hold her child and to see their beautiful, sparkling eyes again.  She will forever be in our community because this was her way of  life too, and just because her child isn't with us anymore, SHE still is.  Her presence reminds us to hug our children tighter, cherish our days together, and to send her our love when she needs us.

2015 will most definitely have its ups and downs, as every year does, but this year as we endure our daily struggles and triumphs let us remember all the other MOMs out there.  Reach out to your fellow MOMs for advice and friendship and encouragement.  We are all in this together....rejoicing on a successful therapy session, being mentally and physically exhausted from an extra long hospital stay, or quietly savoring a special moment before bed holding your child where no words are needed to know and feel his or her sweet, pure love.